You may expect everything to go smoothly while you are engaged, and it will for the most part. You and your fiancé will be blissfully in love. Unfortunately, you’ll also get a lot of unwanted questions, suggestions, and criticism from everyone in your life. Here’s how to deal with some of them.
This assumption could come from almost anyone you know: your younger, too-cool-for-you brother or your roommate from your freshman year of college. The first thing for you to remember is to not let anyone pressure you. It’s your wedding, so you make all the decisions. If the question persists, it is best to try and let the person down easy from the beginning. Don't drag it out longer than necessary. Tell them you are taking your time with the decision and that you are considering a small bridal party. You can also consider including that person in a different way in your wedding. Such as, making them a reader at your ceremony or an usher. Your friends and family don’t have to be in the bridal party in order to play an important role!
2. Let me help with the wedding planning!
This statement can be a huge relief when it comes from someone close to you, but you will hear it often from people you don’t know very well. It’s fine to accept help from anyone who offers, but be sure that they are trustworthy and will actually follow through with their offers. Also, any helpers will need to know your expectations for the wedding and tell them that you get the final say in any and every decision. Don’t hesitate to say no if the planning takes a turn you don’t want it to. It is very easy for wedding ideas to spin out of control when there are too many opinions in the mix. Be firm on this one. Your helpers will actually thank your ability to delegate in the end.
3. The traditions you start with your fiancé now will stay that way forever.
Getting married means combining ones lives for better or worse. Living arrangements are simply something many couples don't consider. This goes from the big, extended family traditions to smaller things like who does which chore. Choosing between families for holidays can be a difficult decision, but you can always alternate by year. This year, go to his family’s Thanksgiving dinner and her family’s Christmas party. Next year, switch. If you are able to, consider going to both families’ parties. Another option is to host your own holiday meal so both families can come together to celebrate.
As for smaller traditions that you set, don’t fret! Try making a chore calendar for you and your partner to follow in the beginning. Eventually, you both will get used to each other's habits and which one of you prefers the dishes over the laundry. More importantly, though, you’ll need to learn to just go with it. Your lives will change as the years go by. You’ll become a team and be able to deal with situations like this together.
Throughout your engagement, your friends and family are going to be making a huge fuss over you as the bride. Between the wedding dress, the color palette, and the decorations, people are going to be looking at you because let's face it, the wedding is all about the bride right? Well, no. This is simply just not true.
A wedding is about the bride and groom coming together in love as one. The day is just as important and significant for the groom as it is for the bride. Be sure to make your fiancé feel included in any way you possibly can. Put together a special date night before the big day to relieve wedding planning stresses. Consider putting together a little just because gift to let him know you are thinking of him. Include him in the planning by letting him choose the wedding party gifts, the flavor of the cake, and the guest favors.
Your wedding is about you and your spouse starting a new life together. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and there’s a good chance it won’t be the perfect day either of you want, but it will be beautiful and special and that’s all that you really need.
Elizabeth is an undergraduate at Ohio Northern University with a double major in professional writing and creative writing and a minor in psychology. Liz writes for My Wedding Reception Ideas as well as creates multi-modal writing projects for Re:Media, an Ohio Northern University online publication.
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